The Start of Something...

I am venturing into this world of blogging, uncertain of what may come of it, but excited at just the prospect of sharing what is happening inside my world. Mostly I am doing this because I have been inspired by friends who catch me up on their lives, have made me laugh, cry, and have challenged me to a more authentic existence and they have done it through this crazy medium called "the blog".

Here in Colorado the leaves are changing and falling to the ground in preparation for colder days. Even as they do, I begin to think about how my life has changed since becoming a mom and how I feel as though the Lord is drawing our family into a new season.



A few of my recent thoughts on becoming a mom:

• Going to the grocery store (or anywhere in public for that matter) never used to be an event that took a few hours to plan, much too long to execute, and at least an hour to recover from.

• On taking a shower: After first bringing Ellie home, it was all about nursing Ellie and watching her sleep....anywhere we would lay her- no problem taking a shower, except for the fact that one has to nurse previous to getting under the hot water. Eventually, it became about sitting her somewhere, yes, even just outside the shower and giving her toys...that also worked well. However, now that she can crawl and cruise, a normal week-day shower includes an Ellie Bug that stands up, pulls the shower curtain open, attempts and succeeds at throwing toys into the shower, squealing and laughing as loud as she can and then vocalizing her dissatisfaction in the fact that the toy she wants to play with is out of reach by mom's wet foot. Meanwhile, as I attempt to continue on in my former shower haven, the water has a way of soaking the hair of the little one on the outside of the tub who still happens to want that toy back just to drop it in again.
• On cleaning cloth diapers: Previous to birthing a child, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself figuring out more creative ways to get foreign substances off of a cloth diaper before putting it into the washer...we will just leave it at that.

• On unconditional love: Becoming a parent is quite an adventure and one of the most amazing things so far is the incredible love that has sprung to life as this baby came to be. I am constantly in awe of the sheer miraculous beauty that she is, even as we can see her sinful nature arise. This new love that is birthed feels like an enlarging of the heart and another small, imperfect glimpse of the perfect love that our Father has for us. If I can feel this love for another human being who is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, I can only imagine how deep God's love for us is who knit together our bones and flesh and knows who we are at the very core of ourselves.

• Change is inevitable. Throughout my life I have been resistant to change, sometimes excited, but mostly resistant and fearful about it. Ellie is now 15 months old and boy has she changed in a year! She has gone from a helpless little tadpole, to a social, babbling girl on the move. A year from now- heck, 4 months from now- she is going to be different, and I love that! I love who she is right now and what she is doing, but I am so excited to see how she grows and changes. As Graham loves to say, "Carpe Diem"- Seize the day! Can we be fully present and living in the moment because we know that life can and does change in the blink of an eye? What a challenge as we go about the seeming normalcy of our days- all the while- living expectantly for the change that the Lord must bring about in our lives to continue on in the process of holistic maturity!